Oh Crap! Is my first thought. My dream dream job is officially within my grasp…BUT. That big ol’ BUTT. UGH. Things were coming together perfectly. My wonderful beautiful amazing boyfriend and best friend got a job offer. We say, it’s a dream job, but not in a dream location. We tell people, it could be a worse location, in the California Desert. It pays well, it’s a good start, and he got the job by charming people with his good looks and killer charm at a 2 day hiring event that he was invited to. Fate is wonderful. “The Plan.”
This past summer I got a taste of perfection for myself. In college I found my identity, my most favorite version of myself, through a program called Week of Welcome. Working as a student leader in the school’s orientation program (WOW), gave me a sense of purpose, a chance to grow and be challenged, a chance to mature, and helped me understand who I was, and who I wanted to be. Some might call this experience transformative. I felt that I had given back to my community in a way I never thought possible. I made best friends and I met the sexy beast described above. The next year my application was denied. My personality was too big, my thoughts challenged others, and ultimately, I was declined a second opportunity for another transformative experience. I cried. Hard. For a week straight. Heaving crying. Leaning against the wall wondering if anyone would ever appreciate me again crying. It was embarrassing. I’ll move on.
Obviously I survived. I’m still here, sitting in Panera typing about the emotions without breaking down. Not only did I survive, but maybe more surprising to the rest of you, my passion for student leadership and orientation survived. After following SB to Penn State, I found myself with an opportunity to complete a Master’s Degree that would set me up for a professional career in Student Leadership. A.maze.ing. I was helped along and found my way into the Student Conduct Office (which I will write about later). In a conversation with my supervisor, she opened the dusty old door to my professional orientation dream, and it all started. After a quick personal interview with one of the program assistant directors, I started my summer long internship with New Student Orientation at Penn State.
The energy was wild, the people were good, and the students exactly like I remember them: bold, unafraid, and always struggling to find or defend their true selves (as college students should be doing). I fell in love again, this time stronger than ever.
The best part about this summer graduate internship was that I received validation that I’m actually pretty good at this work. Where I fall short, my passion encourages me to get back up, apologize for sucking, and move forward with purpose and a little dreaming. As the internship progressed, I was asked to take on more responsibility, which was terrifying, and yet so fantastic for me. I was given unbelievable opportunities. Two rounds of orientation (out of 33), I was asked to run the entire program and be the face of Penn State for incoming parents. The internship began with an idea about creating a student leader self-assessment program and ended with me representing 100,000 students (plus faculty and staff) in welcoming new Penn Staters into the family. It was incredible. To be honest, I’m still not entirely sure what happened, but I knew I started and ended the entire experience smiling like a fool.
The experience ended with all smiles, and then it was over. Back to the grind. I started the semester sort-of strong, completed my summer follow-up requirements and started in on the research papers, the readings, and everything else that #gradlife entails. We were graduating in December, and then moving to the start of SB’s dream job.
Then I got a text message. The student coordinator position that I had dreamt about was open and an application would be sent out soon. At Penn State.
I’m qualified for this position. When the description comes out, I will be able to check off a majority of the “requirements” listed. The people know me. I know the program. I know what to expect. I know how to succeed in the program and in the office, and I know how to fail. I know how high the standards are and I’ve seen why. It would be an insane amount of work, and I’ve already seen the outcome, so I can be 100% certain that it would be worth it.
Applying would uproot the next 5 years of my life plan.
SB will be in Maryland at his dream job with my future life. But where will I be?
Love, Char
Love, Char
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